Cliché Makes The World Go Round
by TillThatTime
Summary: A Challenge set up by mordechaimalachai. We’ve all seen the stereotypical RyanTroy love stories….This is of no exception! Every cliché, every mind blowing stereotype can be found right here.
1. Stereotypes Galore!

Disclaimer: I do not own.

A/N: Just a little parody based on the stereotypes that surround the Troy Ryan slash stories. If I offend anyone who has written anything relating to what I am mocking please do not take offense. It is just for fun, a lot of things in this that I make fun of are things from my own story. Flames are definitely accepted!

* * *

**Stereotypes Galore!**

Troy was skipping merrily down the hallway….I mean, macho-like ……when he noticed a sight that made him stop dead in his fruity, little tracks…I mean, manly tracks.

Sure, he had known Ryan Evans since second grade but never had he seen the beautiful boy…I mean, queer boy…….in this light. It was the golden halo that cast the light onto Ryan's blonde hair, that Troy noticed first. Then of course came the fact that Ryan was wearing a dress.

Dumbfounded, the realization of his own homosexuality hit him like a train.

"Ryan…you look like an angel sent from heaven to save me from my world of lies by bringing me to realize the truth about my sexuality. Which will, in turn, force me to come out and watch helplessly as the _entire _world turns against me and my father beats my gay, little ass….."

"Oh, this is the costume for act 3.……I love you Troy Bolton…though I realize that my own homosexuality will force me to undergo mass amounts of physical and mental torture…but none of that matters now, because frankly…I'm your bitch." The lights dim and Barry Watson starts playing softly in the back round. Troy pulls Ryan into a kissof extreme, mind blowing passion (Insert descriptive details here) until, of course, Troy notices Chad stomping down the hall.

He quickly pulls away from Ryan and pats him on the back. "And, that's how you perform CPR."

"Troy I thought you loved me?" Ryan whispers in a needy, little voice.

"Ryan, I have obviously not realized that my popularity is of unimportance…that doesn't happen for at least three more chapters.

"Oh….what do I do till then?"

"You continuously tell me that you understand and that I don't have to come out until I'm ready."

"What the-"

"Just do it Ryan! You are messing with stereotypical powers that are of way greater meaning then you could ever begin to comprehend."

"You don't have to come outuntil you want to." Ryan mumbles grudgingly as Chad approaches them, with drool running down his face.

"Troy! What are you doing talking to that chocolate-packer?" Chad grunts.

"I believe the correct term is fudge packer…" Ryan points out.

"Quiet you….you………not straight person!"

"Oh, and like that hair isn't a cry for help…." Ryan mumbles.

"Quiet you…you….."

"Fag? Queer? Stick-lover?" Ryan adds helpfully.

Chad kicks Ryan in the shins and starts running around in circles, screaming "Fag! Fag! Fag!" until he runs out of energy and stops.

"Troy what are you doing hanging out with him…are you turning gay……..because it says in the basketball handbook that no star athlete can be gay…….and I may just have to rape you to show that I really don't approve."

Troy steps quickly away from Ryan. "I'm not gay." He says, his voice coming out more girly than he intend it to.

Chad, being the idiot that he is, grunts manly-like, and the two basketball players stalk off together leaving an extremely hurt Ryan behind.

Ryan pulls out his trusty pink raiser that he keeps in his backpack, for occasions just like this.

"Must carve out the pain. Must carve out the pain." He repeats as he etches Troy's name into his arm. He suddenly notices a crowd drawn around his locker and he decides to see what all the commotion is about. What he sees makes him gasp. There, written on his locker, in purple, dry-erase marker, are the words: "Politically incorrect, society unaccepted, genetically mutated homosexual." Each word stung him like a bad acceptance speech and not even the fact that Sharpay was defending him was easing the pain.

" My brother is not a freak. I mean so what if he likes to shop more than I do? So what if he wears our mothers lipstick? So what if he likes to kiss boys? Emo boys kiss other boys all the time and you don't see people complaining about that!"

"I think they get the point, Sharpay!" Ryan calls out as he hears the crowd around him start to snicker.

"So what if I am gay?" he inquires upon the crowd. "Why do you condemn me for it?"

"Because it makes for a better plotline?" Someone calls out from the crowd.

"Good point. Carry on." Everyone points and laughs and Ryan runs off to go hide in a janitors closet where he can cry out his woes and contemplate ways that he can make this story even more cliché.

TBC.


	2. Aunt Edna and Inner Conflicts

**Disclaimer: **Would I get sued if I said I _did_ own it?………ok fine…I don't own it…there, happy?

**A/N: **Eh, boredom produces more chapters (That is how most fan fics are produced actually)….. Enjoy. Much love!

TillThatTime

* * *

**Aunt Edna and Inner Conflicts**

Ryan was trudging out the front doors of his school, desperately ready to end the day, when he was stopped in his tracks by none other than Chad…….who was still drooling and grunting in all his idiocy.

"Hey are you ready for me to smack you up….fo sho…?"

"Oh please, I'm blacker than you are and I'm borderline albino…" Ryan grumbled under his breath.

"What did you say to me?"

"I said, let's do this bitch!" Ryan held up his fist, ready for any attacks that Chad might bring, but his fists dropped when he noticed the confused expression on Chad's face.

"What is it?"

"Uh, you aren't supposed to fight back."

"Say what?"

"You are supposed to let me punch you repeatedly and cry the entire time…..like the little sissy you are."

"Says who?"

Chad pulled a small book from out of his back pocket. The title read 'Cliché for Dummies'

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." Ryan said, rolling his eyes.

Chad starts thumbing trough the pages until he finds the one that he is looking for. "It states right here, chapter 3 section 2, that 'No discriminated against homosexual' that being you 'can defend themselves in the face of a cruel beating, and therefore must subject themselves to any injuries that may occur."

Chad notices Ryan staring at him in total shock. "What is it?"

"You can read?" Ryan asks in genuine disbelief.

" Of course, I read real good-like."

Ryan snorts.

"So I'm supposed to let you beat me up? You're joking right? Look at you! Everyone talks about me but you look like the gayest gay pansy that ever pranced down the pike!"

"I am not gay!" Chad whines, stamping his foot like the little girl that he is.

"I'm not doing it." Ryan says, folding his arms over his chest.

"You have to. You're-"

"Messing with stereotypical powers of far greater importance than I could even begin to comprehend? Yeah, so I've been told."

"You have to let me beat you up." Chad argues, staring pointedly at the book.

"I don't wanna!

" Look, this is how things work. Let's just do this. You'll cry. I'll let out a few grunts, and we'll call it a day.."

"Fine." Ryan says haughtily.

"Splendid."

"Splendid? Did you just say splendid!….and people call _me_ the fag!" Ryan is doubled over with laughter and barely containing the snorts.

"Splendid?…..I mean grunt" Chad tries to cover it up quickly.

"Let's just get this over with…" Chad walks over to Ryan and promptly smacks him across the face. Ryan just stands there.

"Uh, do you think you could work up some tears and few 'Oh god, please stop. Please stop'?"

"But you hit like my great aunt Edna…..and she had no arms!"

"Ryan, don't make me pull out the book."

"Fine…. Oh God it hurts. It hurts." Ryan says in a monotonous voice.

"Can't you put some more emotion into it?"

"No one is that good at acting."

Just then, Troy comes prancing…..I mean, stomping….down the steps of the school and notices Chad "beating" Ryan up…….even though they are doing it in plain sight, miraculously no teachers notice this.

"Troy suddenly goes into some deep inner monologue on whether or not he should save Ryan. _Love of my life, or popularity? God, why is everything so difficult! _

This continues on for about five minutes until, finally, Ryan and Chad both stop and stare at him.

"What the hell are you doing?" They say in unison.

"I'm having an inner conflict."

"Don't make me rape you…" Chad threatens from out of nowhere.

"Kinky…" Ryan says with a grin on his face. "Why do you have to take so long deciding?"

"Because it makes for a better plot line?"

"Good point. Carry on." Ryan and Chad say in unison.

Will Troy ever decide to save Ryan? Will they end up together?….if you've read most Ryan/Troy fictions, you most likely already know the answer to that…..

TBC


	3. Starbucks and Fruit

Disclaimer: I own it all…….ok…..not really.

A/N: Thanks to all the lovely reviews, and I would like to point out that Chad raping people thing really isn't a cliché, it's only used in Quiet Eloquence, By FallingWithGrace….which is AMAZING…go read it, I command you!…but read this first. Muah! I hope you like Troy's monologue. It came to me a 3 am! Much Love!

TillThatTime

**Starbucks and Fruit!**

After an hour and a half of decision making, Troy finally decided to save Ryan from the horrendous beatings that he was receiving from Chad……of course, by that time the fight was well over and Chad and Ryan were sitting in a near by Starbucks, drinking lattés and discussing the part that pesticides would play in Global Warming.

"Oh, for the love of God, what are you two doing in here?" Troy said after he found them sitting at a table after a half hour of searching for where the enemies had run off to.

"Well, we noticed you walking back and forth for about twenty minutes, mumbling something about "popularity" and "What would the Cliché God want me to do?", and while it was indeed amusing to watch, we quickly got bored and headed out for Starbucks…..cappuccino?" Ryan answered, holding out a coffee cup and adjusting his standard coffee shop beret.

"Ryan, you're supposed to let me drive you home…" Troy insisted, taking the coffee cup from Ryan.

"Why?"

"Because, you're obviously too injured to walk, and if I drive you home it will inevitably lead to an intense kissing scene and perhaps some possible mind-blowing shagging." Troy said in a matter-of-fact type tone.

"I feel fine, really….."

"Apparently I hit like his armless Aunt Edna." Chad added in a cheerful, grudgingly type way.

"Just get in the car, Ryan."

"Fine…" Ryan mumbled and got up from the table. Before heading out the door he turned back to Chad. "Are we still on for bingo Saturday night?"

"Of course……and palettes Tuesday morning!."

Troy just glared at the both of them.

"Fine." Chad said, rolling his eyes. "_And, _I'll beat you up Monday afternoon……..Happy, cliché Nazi?"

"Not quite."

"Oh yea….grunt"

"That's better."

On the ride home, Troy was lost in his thoughts while Ryan was thumbing through the copy of Cliché for Dummies that Chad had given him.

"Check this out, apparently I am the Jake Gyllenhaal in the relationship and I am always supposed to take it like the little bitch that I am."

"It does not say that…"

Ryan points to the part in the book.

"Wow….."

"Also, I always seem to taste like some kind of fruit…..the reoccurring one is watermelon."

"Ha! The fruit tastes like fruit!" Troy snorts.

"Idiot…" Ryan says under his breath. "You know, these clichés are highly unrealistic."

"I totally agree with you. I mean, if this was a realistic story, I would mostly like profess my undying love for you just long enough to get you into bed . Then I would dump you like last months Metrosexual Magazine to pursue my dream of becoming a professional basketball player/stripper. You would be thrown into manic depression and your diet would consist of bacon grease and wine coolers until you packed on so much weight that small children would be able to play hide n' go seek in your fat folds. Then, ten years later we would meet up again in some random location, such as the super market or a Village People reunion concert. You would tell me how much your life is meaningless without me and that you are more than willing to take me back. I would go into some deep-seeded predicament on whether or not I should get back together with you, and eventually, in the end settle for singing "Fatty fatty two by four, can't fit through the kitchen door." Repeatedly, in your face…until you cried…the end."

"Sounds like a good plot to me."

"Not so loud, the authors might hear you."

Soon they were pulled up to Ryan's big friggin' house. Ryan began to crawl on top of Troy's lap.

"What are you doing?"

"Are we going to do this or what?"

"I think we are rushing things a bit. We should at least wait one more chapter." Ryan let out an exasperated sigh as Troy continued on. "Besides, it's supposed to be super romantic or something and for some reason my rear being pressed into the glove compartment while my sixty year old neighbor watches us…just doesn't quite put me in the mood."

"So what, were supposed to do it on a cushy bed with the lights turned down low and a pack or colored condoms?"

Troy nods.

"We are such pansies……"

"But, why would we need the condoms….we're both virgins." Troy inquires.

"Says you………and besides, I might get pregnant."

"What the-"

"It's fan fiction, don't ask."

"Even if we can't have sex for the next thousand words or so, we can still make out."

An intense make-out session ensues until Troy pulls away in shock.

"Oh my God…"

"What is it?"

"You _do _taste like fruit!"

TBC.


	4. Filler Chapter!

Disclaimer: Don't own

A/N: Long time…eh, it happens. Remember, this is strictly a parody, and not intended to be cruel to anyone, if you can't take a joke or get offended easily, please leave. Enjoy. Cheers and Much Love!

TillThatTime

Filler Chapter!

"Well…well, I guess I should probably go inside now, it's getting kind of late. Thanks Troy, for everything."

"Ryan, I-" But Troy's sentence was cut short when he noticed the several cuts and bruises that littered Ryan's pale stomach, clearly visible from where his shirt had ridden up as he reached to unbuckle himself.

"God Ryan, how the hell did you get these?" Troy's voice was laced with concern as he pressed his fingertips lightly to one particularly ugly bruise. "These weren't all caused by Chad were they?"

He didn't fail to notice the way Ryan shied away from his touch. "No Troy, I…"

"Ryan, you have to tell me."

"I can't, Troy, I can't."

"Ryan, please, if you just tell me I can protect you!" Troy's voice began to take on a desperate edge as he fought to get Ryan to tell him what was going on.

"It's my dad, ok!" Ryan suddenly burst out as a wave of tears that had been threatening to spill finally fell down his rose-tinted cheeks. Troy sat back in his seat, shocked by Ryan's sudden outburst. "He…he just sometimes drinks a little too much, and he just gets a little carried away is all. It's just that, ever since our mom died he's been drinking more and more, and ever since I came out to him I seem to have become his favorite outlet for his anger."

Ryan's voice became choked with held back sobs and seeing that he couldn't continue, Troy reached out to lace his fingers with Ryan's pale ones. "Ryan, I…I…" But Troy, himself, couldn't seem to continue either as he let out a long repressed snort, followed by a rather loud bout of laughing. "God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I couldn't hold it any longer." He gasped out through his laughter. He turned to look at Ryan, who had burst into his own fit of giggles.

"Wait, what did you say again? Oh yeah, 'just tell me and I can protect you!'" Ryan mocked in an overly dramatic tone. "Psh, nice touch."

"Wait, wait, let me try." Troy suddenly sat back, clearing his throat loudly as he did so. His eyes went impossibly wide as tears seemed to well up, his bottom lip trembled slightly. "I know what you mean, Ryan. I don't know how I am ever going to tell my father that I'm gay. I'll either end up in Intensive Care or homeless on the streets." Troy finished off with a very unbecoming snort. "Oh please…"

"Oh God, I know!" Ryan interjected. "My father and I actually have a very functional relationship. I told him I was gay and he nodded and said we were having fish sticks for dinner. It was actually quite a lovely point in my life."

"And your mother?"

"Bahamas."

"Ah."

"They sure do love to make me the pity case don't they?"

Troy stopped his laughing to look over Ryan. " well, come on, look at you. You're kind of an easy target."

"Point taken."

"No, so really, where did the bruises and cuts come from?" Troy inquired, only mildly interested as he began to pick some salami out of his teeth that had been left over from lunch.

"Oh these?" Ryan asked, pointing to the disfigurations. Troy replied by giving him a look that clearly stated "no shit". " Heh, stage makeup." Ryan answered simply.

" Nice touch."

"It is my goal in life to please." This answer would have been perfectly innocent if it wasn't for the leering look Ryan was giving Troy. "Eh, but they're not all from stage makeup. I got some of the bruises from practicing judo at the YMCA."

"Holy shit!."

"What!?" Ryan asked, startled by Troy's outburst.

"They have judo at the YMCA?"

"Every Monday and Wednesday."

"Oh, that's hella cool."

"You did not just say hella…"

"What of it, bitch!?"

"I think we should break up."

"Do I need to pull out the book?"

"Dammit…"

"Is this conversation going anywhere?"

"Can you say Filler Chapter?"

"It doesn't have to be filler, if you know what I mean?" Troy stated, waggling his eyebrows to the best of his ability.

"Dude, what the hell are you doing?" Ryan asked, quirking a plucked eyebrow.

"I'm trying to be seductive." Troy pouted. Ryan patted his shoulder.

"You might want to work on it."

"Nuh uh, I'm Troy Bolton, Fangirl proclaimed sex god!"

"And I'm Oprah's diet shake." Ryan said, giving him an incredulous look.

"Jesus, can we just have sex already!" Troy whined, stamping his foot childishly.

"Last chapter you said you wanted to wait."

"it's fan fiction, consistency isn't important."

"Good point, but maybe we should wait just a little bit longer. I mean, we usually wait like three days before doing the deed. " Ryan said, skimming through the ever trusty Cliché for Dummies.

"Ok, now you're just making stuff up." Ryan points to the part in the book, showing it Troy. "Dammit…oh come on, Friday is not looking too good for me."

Ryan let out an aggravated huff of breath. "Fiiinnneee, let's go."

* * *

"Whoa, how the hell did we end up in your room so suddenly?" Troy asked, dazedly looking around at his surroundings.

"That's what the page break was for." Ryan stated as if he were talking to a small child, well hell, Troy's not known for his brightness.

"Dude, why is the 'R' backwards in "Ryan's room"?" Troy gestured to the sign hanging from Ryan's door.

"I'm dyslexic…Jesus, one scene, and I have a disability."

"Ah."

"Are we going to do this or what?" Ryan asked, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor.

"Hold on a moment." Troy stated before dashing around Ryan's room, lighting as many candles as he could find. "I have to set the mood."

"If you burn my house down, you over-sized sack of crap, I swear to God-" But just then Ryan was cut off by music flowing into his ears.

Two A.M.  
Two of us  
Come sunrise I'm leavin'  
You know I must  
I can't bear the heartache  
That's in your eyes  
So  
Let's take all night to say goodbye  
You know I want to stay  
How I want to stay  
Let's take all night to say goodbye

"What the-? When did this become a song-fic?"

"It's Barry Manilow. I thought it would set the mood."

"Well you thought wrong."

"ok then, how about…" Troy began rummaging through his CD collection…that he just happened to have with him. "This."

Living in my own world

Didn't understand

That anything can happen

If you take a chance.

"Oh, HELL no! Turn that shit off!" Ryan growled.

The music was quickly cut off.

"Ok, that's better, now lets just get this over with." Ryan huffed as he began to take off his clothes.

"That's not very romantic."

"Neither is poorly written sex scenes with lyrics that only demean the point and are littered with phrases such as, "Come on baby, I just wanna make you feel good"…"

"Touché"

Ok, next is the sex scene, and the rating is going up because I don't want my ass deleted because someone got queasy over a little "penetration"…will it be romantic and beautiful?…heh, not if I can help it.


	5. Oh, The Glorious Smut!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, but I'm thinking of buying some nudie pictures on EBay.

**A/N: **I think I've succeeded in writing one of the most awkward sex scenes ever. Oh happy day! Also, thank you to TertGen, for his/her suggestions. Also, Master Aneliath, I might be adding something from your story in the future.

One important thing! I say this nearly every time, but I can't stress it enough. This is a joke! This is not meant to offend in any way. If you can't take a joke, please leave. I am fully aware that there are many fantastic Troy/Ryan writers, and I am not trying to personally attack anyone. Thank you.

TillThatTime

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Oh, The Glorious Smut!

As Ryan slowly began to peel away his last articles of clothing, Troy found himself enraptured by the sight before him. As each new patch of pale skin was revealed, Troy was mesmerized by the sweat that had already begun to glisten on Ryan's flawless, alabaster skin. His eyes followed as a single drop made its way down Ryan slim neck, past the expanse of his chest and shaking abdominal muscles, before comes to rest on a nest of….(and the author has decided to stop that train of thought there because she doesn't want her ass kicked off this sight for corrupting the youth.)

"Oh God, Ryan, I have never seen anything more beautiful in all my life, you're gorgeous, baby." Troy whispered his appraisal of Ryan's body.

"…Awkward…"

"What?" Troy looked at Ryan, confused.

"Dude, seriously, I'm a guy. See, penis." Ryan pointed downwards to emphasis his point. "Don't say shit like that to me, it creeps me out."

"You sure know how to ruin a moment don't you, asshole?" Troy glared a Ryan, before glancing over his body once more. "Eh, I've seen better."

"What did you say you little-"

"You started it, butt-wipe!" Troy shouted childishly, cutting Ryan off.

"Yeah, well, I'm sure as hell gonna finish it!" Ryan seethed, preparing to launch himself at the other boy.

"Wait! Wait! This is not how this is supposed to go." Troy held up his hands in defense, successfully halting the other boy, before rummaging around the room until he finally found what he had been looking for; an all-to-familiar looking book.

"I swear to God I thought I left that in the car during the page break." Ryan mumbled in disbelief, while Troy thumbed through Cliché For Dummies. 

"Ah, here it is! Section 2, page 8: During the act of sexual intercourse, the person who is doing the topping must, repeat, must shower the bottom-er with praises such as 'You're so beautiful!', 'She was nothing compared to you!' and 'How did I ever live this long with out you?-"

"It's called porn."

"Shut up, Ryan!" Troy sneered, fighting off the urge to throw the book at the snickering boy. "As I was saying:…and other such phrases to truly make your bitch feel like a precious diamond. In turn, your partner should swoon with love and beg for you to make love to them." Troy finished with a smug smirk. 

"God help me….Can't we just say we fucked and move on to the next chapter?" Ryan pleaded, not wishing to subject himself to the inevitable. God, that book was one step away from castrating him and forcing him to grow a vagina.

"Fuck? I believe you mean 'make love'." Troy corrected.

Ryan snorted at that. "No, I'm pretty sure I meant 'fuck'."

"Ryan quit being difficult! Here, let me try this again. Oh, Ryan, you are so beautiful."

The other boy wretched.

"Dammit, Ryan!"

"Fine….swoon…oh please, make love to me…yada yada, ectera, ectera." Ryan said dismissively.

Taking this as a good enough reply Troy began to advance on the other boy when all of the sudden his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket with an annoyed sigh before holding it up to his ear.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, baby, it's me." Came the sugary voice on the other end.

"Whoa, Gabriella, this is not a good time. Besides, why the hell are you calling me, we broke up like eight months ago?"

"You're with him aren't you!?" Gabriella suddenly screamed out angrily over the phone.

"Huh?"

"I knew it! I knew you were cheating on me with him, but don't worry, Troy! I'll ruin you! I'll make you pay hell for what you've done to me, you and your little homo." Gabriella cackled on the other end.

"Tch, whatever, Ghetto Bitch of the West, what's up with you all of the sudden? Shouldn't you be off giving to charity or something?" Troy asked, watching as Ryan began to pick at his fingernails.

Gabriella's voice suddenly lowered to a whisper. "I know, I'm sorry, but these people cornered me on my way home from the store. They said something about being fan fiction authors and they demanded that I call you and try to break you and Ryan up. They held me at knife point and kept saying things like, 'if you don't thicken the plot, we're gonna prison shank you, hoe.' What else was I supposed to do?" Gabriella finished with a hint of desperation.

"Not my problem." And with that Troy hung up the phone, turning his attention back to the boy who was sitting naked on his bed and inspecting his fingernails. "Where were we know?"

"Sex, idiot."

"Oh, right." Troy began to walk towards Ryan, where he was met halfway by the other boy. Ryan ran his fingers lightly over Troy's bare torso-

"Wait, didn't you have clothes on a second ago?" Ryan questioned, thoroughly confused and slightly freak out.

"Shhh." Troy silence him, by sealing his lips over Ryan's. He gently lowered the other boy to the bed, his lips meshing with his lover's as their tongues dueled for dominance. Troy parted his lips from Ryan's with an audible wet 'plop', and began to trail kisses along a smooth jaw line, his tongue peeking between his lips to taste the salty and slick flesh right below Ryan's ear. He heard Ryan's mewl of pleasure and he smirked against the skin, as his hands began to roam over the boy that lay withering beneath him. He skimmed the back of his fingers along slim hips, before he allowed the tip of his fingers to make their way up Ryan's torso. Ryan's breathing quickened as Troy's hands moved at an agonizingly slow pace, before they finally reached their destination, to tauntingly circle around one-

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Would you quit with all the detail? You are giving them way too much credit."

"Right."

Troy and Ryan kissed passionately for a long while. Their hands roaming over everywhere on each other's bodies before Troy settled himself between Ryan's legs. He looked down at Ryan lovingly and said "Are you ready?" and not waiting for Ryan's answer he pushed in.

"Ah! Oh my gawd, Take it out! Take it out!" Ryan screamed, trying to push Troy off of him.

"Wha? Isn't this how this works?" Troy inquired, attempting to move.

"Make one move, Bolton, one move that isn't you getting this thing out of me, and I swear to God and all that is holy, I will break it in half." Ryan said menacingly. That worked. Troy pulled out immediately.

"What-"

"What the hell were you thinking!? You didn't use any lube! You didn't even prepare me first!"

"Huh?"

"You didn't stretch me. You didn't even attempt to find my sweet spot to make sure I was enjoying it and relaxed!" Ryan shrieked indignantly.

"Sweet spot?"

"My prostate, dickhead!"

"Er…"

"Oh, God, it's like I'm talking to a six year old." Ryan stated, smacking his hand to his forehead.

"Or a pre-pubescent girl who has no true sense of what she's writing about and shouldn't even be reading sex scenes, let alone writing them in the first place." Troy offered. "Give me a break, I know nothing about the details, only the basic mechanics."

"I'm leaving." Ryan blurted, standing up to find his clothes. Troy grabbed his wrist and pointed lazily to the dreadful book that was quickly becoming one of Ryan's worst nightmares.

"Kill me please…"


End file.
